SEUN
Flaunt w-h-a-a-t! Kai, to me, it is inappropriate, I can’t. I don’t think it’s meant for public view but of individual’s choice depending on their sense of reasoning. Although those who flaunt theirs do it for various reasons best known to them, as we all know there is no smoke without fire. Some may see it as a means of gaining people’s attention, fun and so on; some are addicted to it, while some do it to seduce easy-going men. My watch word always is modesty, if you feel like going crazy, it’s your choice, nobody stops you.
KEMI
Waoh! This is quite interesting and worth discussing. Maybe it’s because the breast is the best thing I so much appreciate on my body. Sometimes, we need display them to show we are happy and to show our liberty, especially for your boy friend or whoever you feel also care to appreciate the big things. I don’t hide my feelings, especially at parties, I make people see what I’m endowed with, it’s not a sin neither will it make you go crazy, No! People might gaze at them with amazement, but don’t let it get into your head to an extent where you start mis-behaving.
It’s a pity that most of our ladies have taken liberty for license, most of them have taken to walking naked on the street, and making every guy who sees them go crazy while some go mad completely all in the name of fashion. The major reason why I love flaunting them is because it is good for our health. It makes you feel comfortable because they need to inhale some fresh air, for proper growth and to keep you away from rashes and other similar diseases.
MAUREEN
Well, I’m not against allowing your boobs peep from your bra or under wear, but what I cannot do is make them a silver galleria for passers-by, either for free or whatever. When I am at home, I can do whatever pleases me with my body but when out there, I need to put everything under total control, behave myself or be cautioned; let them obey my commands. I own them, so I have the power to subject them under control. For example, nothing stops me flaunting it but on the condition that it will neither terrify nor create problems for those weak guys around me. Flaunting of boobs should be something personal, done with understanding, maturity and not imitating others.
FUNMI
No decent lady would do such, anyone who does that needs some check-up. Our body is meant to be sacred and shouldn’t be exposed but kept for our husbands. Once you expose it, the value depreciates and nothing more of interest to the spectators. I believe such thing should be banned in our society. More so, who ever is seen on this dress code should be put under close watch; she could be a victim of depression or frustration.
RACHAEL
I can’t do such because, it is not proper and as a responsible girl you need not dress irresponsibly. Dressing in such manner would only dent the image of your family and it is not the best way to shop for your Mr. Right. If you censor your dress-code, you could be lucky to get a good and responsible husband because it is the way you look that men will approach and access you. If you value yourself people will value you; but if you don’t, well you have your self to blame when evil comes upon you. People see those who expose their body as prostitutes, in fact they are prostitute, not until they live in hotels.
BIANCA
The answer is simply No. I, for example come from a Christian home and I’m a responsible girl. My parents will hate me with such out-fits, more so, I don’t know where my future husband could emerge. So, if I dress that way what happens to the guy who has interest in marrying me? People see those who wear such revealing clothes as prostitutes even though they might not be one. Let’s not behave like beasts.
BUKKY
I can’t. Why would I when I don’t need a psychiatrist? I don’t know why some ladies do such, perhaps they are looking for husbands, boyfriends or sugar daddies, only God knows. For me, I will up-hold my good manner because you don’t know who is watching you. Finally, such dressing is the major cause why ladies fall victim of rape in Nigeria going by records. When you dress almost naked, even dogs will go after you, let alone men. So what is the joy going crazy on the street in the name of fashion?
DAMMY
The Bible says the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom. It went further that “to fear God is to avoid evil”. If somebody is not out of his/her mind, why for goodness sake would such prefer going naked when she is not in the Garden of Eden? Even our first parents, Adam and eve that were the first and last tenants in the garden never went mad for a second; they were only naked and not for so long before they got their first attires made of leaves. But I wonder the kind of ladies we have today on this planet “earth”, who have clothes but prefer going naked. I believe it is a familiar spirit that controls them and the end result of such spirit is always madness which some call insanity or to give a good name, “mind disorder”.
There goes the saying; “Not everyone who walks on the street is healthy”. Madness is not only having bushy hair styles, putting earrings in the nose like a ceremonial cow or a natural fool, neither is it sleeping in trees like the ape families. Dressing to expose vital areas of your body is madness, but called a “fashion psychiatric illness”. May they that practice such not step into the second stage of madness which takes series of intervention to cure. May God visit such people and give them the wisdom to further know they are gradually going mad because it’s a gradual process; Rome was not built in a day. May God rescue them before they finally get out of hands? This I pray with earnest.
OLUMIDE
What a question? I cannot expose my body for any reason. As a responsible person I wouldn’t want all eyes to focus on me on the street. I am not insane. Only mentally deranged would do such without a single conscience for God’s sake.
WUNMI
Flaunt my boobs? Never I can’t do that. I am not meant to expose part of my body for people to see. It’s too bad for any lady to expose her boobs. As for me I can’t do it. It is meant for my husband and babies to see alone not for general.
Flaunt your boobs?
By GIDEON OPARINDE & NANA AHMADU
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sustaining intimacy in marriage
After seven years of marriage, Anita just can‘t believe what her marriage to Ted has become. ”We hardly talk anymore and even when we do, it is only in monosyllables and I don‘t like it,” she started her story.
Didn‘t she see it coming? ”Not at all. Right from the time we started dating, we were almost inseparable. I would hardly go anywhere without my husband and vice versa. Then our friends were always teasing us but we didn‘t mind. Even after marriage, it was as though nothing could ever separate us. Ted was my soul mate.”
”However, after a couple of years I noticed that we hardly spent any time together any more. But I erroneously attributed it to work. You see, Ted is an IT manager in a multinational and he was always working round the clock and since I work in a bank it didn‘t really make things easier. However, with time I realised that it wasn‘t just about work; we just couldn‘t connect. I found out that even when we stayed home together my husband would rather spend his time chatting with friends on the phone, browsing and watching movies. To worsen matters whenever he was watching a movie and I joined him, he would quickly stand up and excuse himself as though my presence was disturbing him.
”Many times, when we were invited to events together, if I insisted on going with him, he would opt out. At the moment, our sex life is almost non-existent and the few times we managed to make love, I hardly enjoyed and I don‘t think he did either. I have tried to investigate if he is having an affair but so far, I have come up with nothing. My friends insist that he must be having an affair for him to have turned off like that. Right now I just want my husband back because this is not the kind of union I envisaged when I was getting married.”
If only Anita could have a peep into what happens in other marriages, then she would know that hers isn‘t an exceptional case. So many couples are suffering under the burden of unromantic marriages that have lost every meaning of the very word itself. They stay under the same roof, possibly sleep on the same bed, eat at the same table but remain strangers to each other.
Unfortunately, these couples rather than do something about the quite undesirable situation, trade blames and sometimes end up with extra-marital affairs, which of course, more often than not, destroys the marriage entirely.
The problem is that many couples have not realised the simple truth; marriage is work and good marriage takes a lot of hard work to achieve. No matter how much in love you are with your spouse, there is no guarantee the marriage would remain as sweet and romantic as the time you started out if you don‘t work towards it. Of course, one is not saying that being in love isn‘t ideal but it is simply not enough. You must make effort to foster intimacy in your union. And for those who think their marriage is worth fighting for, I leave these few tips for sustaining intimacy in a marriage.
The eye contact angle
It might seem silly but experts say if you want to gauge the level of intimacy in your relationship, consider the amount of time you spend with a locked gaze. Eye contact, they say, is absolutely essential to maintaining intimacy in a relationship. In other words, learn to not only talk to your spouse, but also always try to look right into his or her eyes when doing so. Many people can‘t look at their spouse even when making love; they would rather avert their faces or close their eyes. This act of modesty may not be the best for the marriage in the long run.
Don‘t take a kiss for granted.
How often do you kiss? Many people can‘t remember the last time they truly locked lips with their spouse in a passionate kiss. But experts have said that kissing is very essential in maintaining intimacy in marriage. There is even a study which claims that kissing releases oxytocin (the neurochemical that makes you feel bonded) and decreases cortisol levels, so it may also reduce stress.
Don‘t forget the little things because they do matter
Developing and sustaining intimacy in your marriage isn‘t something that should require elaborate preparations. For instance, you don‘t need to spend extra money to send your spouse a text message during working hours appreciating him for a wonderful time in bed the previous night. Nothing stops you from cuddling up with your spouse for just a few minutes in bed before living home. And don‘t think that those who welcome their spouses home with warm smiles and kisses don‘t know what they are doing; they are ensuring that the flame of romance in their marriage never goes off.
Try the ‘SECRET CODE‘ strategy.
It may seem childish but some couples who have tried it do testify that it makes them feel closer when they have those little codes that are only known to them. I know of a friend who would call her husband and tell him in coded language that she couldn‘t wait to get her hands on him at night. And that little message, she says, tickles her man so much that she feels so pleased with herself anytime she says it. You can have a secret symbol that makes meaning to only you and you spouse. Remember the sole aim is to remain connected always.
Don‘t be afraid to fight
Surprised that I should suggest this? Well, when one says couples should not be afraid to fight, it is not about physical fight or domestic abuse. The truth is that there is no way two people can live together and there won‘t be conflicts now and then. The aim here is to avoid bottling up feelings which can lead to resentment and ultimately impact negatively on your intimacy.
Curled from Punch Nigeria: Sunday, 19 Oct 2008
Didn‘t she see it coming? ”Not at all. Right from the time we started dating, we were almost inseparable. I would hardly go anywhere without my husband and vice versa. Then our friends were always teasing us but we didn‘t mind. Even after marriage, it was as though nothing could ever separate us. Ted was my soul mate.”
”However, after a couple of years I noticed that we hardly spent any time together any more. But I erroneously attributed it to work. You see, Ted is an IT manager in a multinational and he was always working round the clock and since I work in a bank it didn‘t really make things easier. However, with time I realised that it wasn‘t just about work; we just couldn‘t connect. I found out that even when we stayed home together my husband would rather spend his time chatting with friends on the phone, browsing and watching movies. To worsen matters whenever he was watching a movie and I joined him, he would quickly stand up and excuse himself as though my presence was disturbing him.
”Many times, when we were invited to events together, if I insisted on going with him, he would opt out. At the moment, our sex life is almost non-existent and the few times we managed to make love, I hardly enjoyed and I don‘t think he did either. I have tried to investigate if he is having an affair but so far, I have come up with nothing. My friends insist that he must be having an affair for him to have turned off like that. Right now I just want my husband back because this is not the kind of union I envisaged when I was getting married.”
If only Anita could have a peep into what happens in other marriages, then she would know that hers isn‘t an exceptional case. So many couples are suffering under the burden of unromantic marriages that have lost every meaning of the very word itself. They stay under the same roof, possibly sleep on the same bed, eat at the same table but remain strangers to each other.
Unfortunately, these couples rather than do something about the quite undesirable situation, trade blames and sometimes end up with extra-marital affairs, which of course, more often than not, destroys the marriage entirely.
The problem is that many couples have not realised the simple truth; marriage is work and good marriage takes a lot of hard work to achieve. No matter how much in love you are with your spouse, there is no guarantee the marriage would remain as sweet and romantic as the time you started out if you don‘t work towards it. Of course, one is not saying that being in love isn‘t ideal but it is simply not enough. You must make effort to foster intimacy in your union. And for those who think their marriage is worth fighting for, I leave these few tips for sustaining intimacy in a marriage.
The eye contact angle
It might seem silly but experts say if you want to gauge the level of intimacy in your relationship, consider the amount of time you spend with a locked gaze. Eye contact, they say, is absolutely essential to maintaining intimacy in a relationship. In other words, learn to not only talk to your spouse, but also always try to look right into his or her eyes when doing so. Many people can‘t look at their spouse even when making love; they would rather avert their faces or close their eyes. This act of modesty may not be the best for the marriage in the long run.
Don‘t take a kiss for granted.
How often do you kiss? Many people can‘t remember the last time they truly locked lips with their spouse in a passionate kiss. But experts have said that kissing is very essential in maintaining intimacy in marriage. There is even a study which claims that kissing releases oxytocin (the neurochemical that makes you feel bonded) and decreases cortisol levels, so it may also reduce stress.
Don‘t forget the little things because they do matter
Developing and sustaining intimacy in your marriage isn‘t something that should require elaborate preparations. For instance, you don‘t need to spend extra money to send your spouse a text message during working hours appreciating him for a wonderful time in bed the previous night. Nothing stops you from cuddling up with your spouse for just a few minutes in bed before living home. And don‘t think that those who welcome their spouses home with warm smiles and kisses don‘t know what they are doing; they are ensuring that the flame of romance in their marriage never goes off.
Try the ‘SECRET CODE‘ strategy.
It may seem childish but some couples who have tried it do testify that it makes them feel closer when they have those little codes that are only known to them. I know of a friend who would call her husband and tell him in coded language that she couldn‘t wait to get her hands on him at night. And that little message, she says, tickles her man so much that she feels so pleased with herself anytime she says it. You can have a secret symbol that makes meaning to only you and you spouse. Remember the sole aim is to remain connected always.
Don‘t be afraid to fight
Surprised that I should suggest this? Well, when one says couples should not be afraid to fight, it is not about physical fight or domestic abuse. The truth is that there is no way two people can live together and there won‘t be conflicts now and then. The aim here is to avoid bottling up feelings which can lead to resentment and ultimately impact negatively on your intimacy.
Curled from Punch Nigeria: Sunday, 19 Oct 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)